I never thought I would be that girl, the one who cried for ever over someone that wasn't worth her time. But Andrew was special, he could be someone. And my faults aside, I still can not figure out what I did. I just told him to listen, God had a plan for him and pissing around was not listening. And I have been to hell and back since.
I have realized, that I see things and read people in a slightly creepy way, and humans are not built to deal with that. I have realized that the man who exists for me must be a myth, I have realized that Mark is a myth as well and I am just going to have to grow up.
To pull myself up and tell myself to shut up. I have a job to do, and I have let this and my communication "issues:" get in the way of that since high school and that is not an excuse. It is not a reason, it is pathetic and I can not use that enable my attitude any longer.
He ripped my heart out, he gave me a close friendship and backed out suddenly because I was concerned and in one short phone message he completely shut me out from his life. I have forgiven him but I still have a hard time letting any guy in... . Letting ANYONE in.. I am so scared of hurting someone.
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